


you have no idea, do you?

by keytniss



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Marichat, Pre-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 19:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21213605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keytniss/pseuds/keytniss
Summary: "We shouldn't rush into things," she said, but her lips were still too close to his and both her hands were touching his chest, keeping him close, enjoying the fresh way his body felt against her in her civilian form."I know," he smirked, his smile so familiar but different against her lips. "We won't."





	you have no idea, do you?

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this yesterday after listening to wonderland - taylor swift. clearly inspired by it. not my best or most original work but... i'm a hoe for fanon!marichat, what about it. enjoy!

_ Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? _

_ Didn't you flash your green eyes at me? _

_ Didn't you calm my fears with a Cheshire cat smile? _

_ Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting? _

_ I felt your arms twistin' around me _

_ It's all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind _

* * *

Ladybug hadn't seen Chat in almost a week. Usually, that would not be that big of a problem: she could handle things on her own, asking other heroes to help her, and eventually calling him if the situation remained out of control. Both of them were busy adults with their own personal lives and had learned how to not overwhelm each other. She could do it. And he could do it, too, keeping the akuma hidden until she could purify it.

But when Chat had to miss patrol, or anything really, he'd _always _warn her. When he needed to travel somewhere, which usually correlated with Hawkmoth disappearing for a week too, he'd tell her in advance. He knew she'd be worried, so if he couldn't really answer her calls, he'd text her. If he really couldn't show up, he'd find a way to let her know. He never simply disappeared: there was always an explanation.

He didn't say anything this time. Her calls went straight to voicemail, her texts were ignored, and patrol nights were empty, no black shadow with green eyes following her. No signs of Chat. It was like he was avoiding her, or had been kidnapped by someone.

She tried texting him, tried contacting him for patrol for the tenth time in the past two hours. And for the tenth time, his voice told her to leave a message.

"Chat. I'm worried. I miss you. Please, please let me know where you are."

Her voice sounded miserable, but that didn't matter. She had no hope he'd actually listen to that.

Not when he'd been ignoring her as Marinette too.

* * *

It took her a long time, but Marinette had finally fallen for Chat.

Whenever they fought a particularly hard akuma and she transformed back, she needed to ask for his help as a civilian, which meant he constantly saw Marinette Dupain-Cheng everywhere, a girl who was bound to find trouble. They'd talk: he'd make fun of her, she'd pretend he wasn't the only person she could completely trust as Ladybug.

But then, Chat became more than an acquaintance to Marinette. He knew she trusted him, so he decided he could trust her too: he'd come to her house when he saw her standing alone on her balcony on his way back home. She was stressed about her personal life, applying for internships and trying to save money for college, and he was stressed about his personal life, too, but nothing he could tell his parents, who weren't present at all. With Marinette, he found comfort. With Marinette, he could confess how lonely he truly felt. And she had enough love for him as Ladybug to give him her attention when he started showing up, open in a way that he couldn't be around her superhero persona, but still keeping his secrets.

That Chat was vulnerable and honest and didn't hide behind flirtation. She'd never noticed he could be like that.

"I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago," he'd confessed one night, a year after he started visiting her. He looked particularly evasive, avoiding her eyes and touch.

It was a chilly November night, and Marinette was wearing her favorite blue sweater, which made her eyes look bigger somehow. They'd never talked about relationships before, so she was surprised by the sudden confession.

"You were dating someone?"

She tried to hide the shock in her voice, but it still sounded too incredulous. He raised one eyebrow.

"Am I that undateable?"

"No, it's just that..."

She had dated other people, both they never stayed. Her secret identity kept getting in the way: no one understood why she'd disappear for hours, or why she kept giving excuses not to leave Paris. It ended up being exhausting. She couldn't do that.

"I didn't think you had time to date," she continued. "You must be super busy as a superhero. Finding the time to do that… that's impressive."

He smiled, and for the first time, the smile actually reached his eyes. It made his sharp jawline even sharper somehow, and she couldn't help but want to touch it.

"So," he started, "you think I can find time to come here every week, but not to have a girlfriend?"

She blushed. She'd never thought about how she was using his time, too, keeping him busy when the probably had other commitments.

"That's not what I meant..."

"Don't worry. It's hard, really, you're not wrong."

His green eyes stared at her, finally, and they glowed against the dark night. His hair was messier and messier as the cool wind ran through it.

He looked wild and lonely in a way that made Marinette want to hug him. God. She really, really just wanted to touch him.

"I never get to be myself around them,” he explained. “It's like I'm only showing half of me, the perfect half that everyone else sees. And they don't get it. They never will."

His stare turned back to the city in front of them.

"And the only person who could completely get me, all of me… I don't think she wants to."

Marinette had heard words like that before, as Ladybug. It was Chat's constant reminder that he was in love with her.

But she thought he had stopped. She thought that at some point in the past couple years, he'd gotten over her, deciding that waiting for her to get over her crush on someone else was useless. Well, the fact that he'd found himself a girlfriend proved that.

Was it possible that it wasn't true, after all? Was it possible that he'd never gotten over her?

For some reason, that made her heart beat faster.

"Are you talking about Ladybug?"

She only noticed her hand had reached for Chat's when his warmth contrasted against the chill of her cold hands. Both of them looked down at where they touched, surprised.

"Ladybug?" He asked, finally, slowly moving his head up and shaking it. "Why would I be talking about her?"

The wind was getting stronger and stronger, and her bangs were all over her face. He raised his other hand, the one she wasn't holding, and touched her cheek, caressing it softly. He then brushed a few loose strands of hair behind her ear and lifted her chin.

"You really have no idea, do you?"

Both hands were touching her. So warm, so safe, so… right.

She closed her eyes.

She wasn't a teenager anymore, incapable of noticing Chat and the way he acted around her. This was real, and he was touching her, and he'd been visiting her every week, and there was no way she'd play dumb this time. In fact, she'd been waiting for that moment, hoping that he paid attention to her the same way she paid attention to him.

She closed her eyes.

"I think I do."

Standing on her tiptoes, she waited for him to kiss her. He did.

It wasn't the first time they kissed, but it was the first time both remembered that, the first time both were aware of what was happening, the first time she felt like she wanted more of him, of _Chat_, her partner who'd been with her, always, ready to fight against the world. It was desperate, because both had been waiting for that moment forever, yet slow, because both wanted to savor it.

"We shouldn't rush into things," she said, but her lips were still too close to his and both her hands were touching his chest, keeping him close, enjoying the fresh way his body felt against her in her civilian form.

"I know," he smirked, his smile so familiar but different against her lips. "We won't."

* * *

They didn't take things slow.

And how could they? Marinette knew Chat too well, fighting by his side as Ladybug and listening to him when the akumas were defeated. She'd known him for too long, _years_, and both had had their hearts broken by other people. Though Chat couldn't reveal who he was, though Marinette felt guilty hiding that she was Ladybug, it was the first time she could completely understand someone. He didn't know, but she felt understood too.

Then, it was just natural. And fast, and exciting, and fun. The kisses slowly turned into something deeper, hungrier, and she found herself wanting to expose herself, to feel his skin against her, to leave marks on him. 

"Your place or mine?" he'd asked one time, half-jokingly, standing on her balcony as she bit his neck, pulling his hair, bringing him closer as his hands held tight against her hips.

Against the dark, no one could really see them. But she knew she was playing with fire.

"Mine," she said, leading the way back to her room. 

He almost choked.

"Are you sure?"

"No. But I don't see why not."

Their first time had been dark. He had to transform back — there was no other way to remove his magical suit — and she thought that was safer than giving him a mask that could fall anytime.

"Does it feel good? Do you like that?" he'd ask every time he tried something new.

"This is great," she'd answer every time. "Don't stop."

Then, when the sun was barely starting to shine, he'd transform back and leave.

Most of the time, she wished he could stay.

* * *

The night before Chat disappeared, he'd made a confession.

"You know," he'd said, lying on his back, his hand going up and down Marinette's spine, feeling her soft skin with his fingertips. "I really like this."

She had her head on his chest, inhaling the smell of expensive perfume and leather that she now associated with pleasure and security. They'd been talking for hours, and exhaustion was creeping up on her, but she immediately opened her eyes.

"Of course you _like _this."

He could feel her smile against his skin. His hand stopped its movement.

"What? Shouldn't I?"

She kept smiling.

"I'm confused. You don't _like_ it?"

She looked up.

"I don't_ like _it, Chat," she said, then hid her face back in his chest so she could listen to his heartbeat. "I think there are better ways to describe it."

His heartbeat was getting stronger, faster. Then, noticing how his hands were getting colder as he felt more and more apprehensive, waiting for her to continue, she decided to stop the torture.

She moved up, facing the shadow of his confused open lips. He was nothing but a dark silhouette.

"You really don't get it, do you?"

When he shook his head, she kissed him.

"I _love_ it. I love _you_."

Marinette didn't think Chat's eyes could've gotten bigger than they were at that moment. 

"You really scared me for a second," he said after a few seconds.

"I'm sorry," she looked down. "I know I said I wanted to take things slow..."

"Marinette..."

"...And I get that it's weird, considering I don't know who you are and how we can't ever be official. I know I'm in danger if Hawkmoth finds out about this, but I just..."

"Hey," he interrupted her, touching her neck as softly as possible, his voice smooth and calm and certain. "Look at me."

So she did.

"There's nothing to worry about. We'll make it work." He kissed her forehead. "I love everything about this. I love _you_."

Marinette couldn't help but smile. She wished she could see his smile, all of it, reaching his eyes behind the mask.

"Are you sure?"

"I am," he said, using both hands to keep her face close to his. "I'll do anything I can to protect you."

They kissed.

He didn't know, but Marinette was thinking the same thing. She'd do_ anything _to protect Chat.

* * *

Ladybug tried calling Chat again the next day. And then the next day. And then every day until it'd been two weeks since he disappeared.

She considered using her personal phone to contact him, but found that too risky. How would she explain to Chat that she had his number when he'd never given that to her civilian identity? No. She couldn't do that.

Besides, the idea that he would ignore her as Marinette hurt too much. Yes, it was bad enough that Ladybug wasn't able to reach him, but that made her worried more than anything.

Texting him as Marinette and not getting an answer would leave her paranoid. She needed to stay in control.

"Kitty. I beg you, please, please let me know where you are."

Tikki tried to reassure her. She said she'd been able to sense if Plagg or Chat had been hurt, and she felt nothing besides negative energy surrounding him, which could mean anything.

"Maybe it's his family, Marinette. Maybe he can't contact you because something happened to his parents. Maybe he's dealing with personal problems."

Marinette, however, knew Tikki wasn't being completely honest. Because, yeah, maybe Chat was going through some personal problems.

But Hawkmoth? He'd never been more furtive. The akumas he'd sent had been too weak, as if he wasn't able to give them proper attention. As if he were trying to distract her from something else, and not really trying to steal her miraculous.

She couldn't help but worry that something else was Chat.

* * *

Two nights later, she heard a knock on her window.

It was the coldest night yet, and the wind made so much noise that at first she wasn't sure if she'd heard it correctly.

But then she saw his shape against the window, undeniably black and tall against the moonlight.

"Chat," she whispered.

She opened the window and he entered the room. She immediately hugged him, burying her face in his chest.

"I missed you so much. I've been so worried," she looked up, trying to read his face. "Ladybug… I saw that Ladybug was fighting all those akumas alone. What happened? Are you okay?"

She expected him to hug her back, to tell her that everything was alright, to explain that he'd been camping and his phone didn't work there.

What she didn't expect was that he'd keep his arms flat beside him and not return her hug. Suddenly, remembering how other akumas had taken Chat's form before, fooling her into thinking they were her partner, she moved away from him.

"Wait. Is that actually you?"

"We can't see each other anymore," he said, his voice low and rough.

She furrowed her brows.

"What did you say?"

"We should stop seeing each other."

That had to be him. No one else knew about them — or so she thought.

But if that was him… why did he feel so different? So… cold.

"Is this because of what I said that night?" She gulped. "Because I really..."

He laughed, but there was no humor in his voice when talked.

"No, it's not. I wish it was that simple."

He sat on her bed but didn't say anything else.

"So?"

He looked up at the ceiling.

"Hawkmoth... he knows."

She could swear he was trying to stop the tears from falling down his face.

"Oh."

"And he thinks… he thinks you're Ladybug, too."

He sounded almost embarrassed as he said that. Shock filled Marinette's throat, making her want to throw up, making her legs shaky and weak. 

"How long have you known?"

"I didn't. He told me his suspicions, and I dissuaded him. I'm trying to protect you."

She took a step back.

"Wait. You_ talked _to Hawkmoth?"

"Marinette..."

"Chat, what is going on?" She knelt beside him, beside her bed, and tried to touch his face. "What did he do to you?"

He grabbed her wrist.

"Don't."

"Chat?"

He let her go and stood up, walking toward the window. His shoulders were slumped, tired, and she suddenly realized he was limping.

"I came here to tell you we can't see each other and ask you to be careful.” He didn’t turn around. All she could see was his back and clenched fists. "And now I'm done."

"You can't be serious. You can't even look at me as you say that."

"I don't have a choice," he opened the window. "Goodbye."

Urged by despair and realizing that wasn't a nightmare but the cold, true reality, Marinette raced in his direction, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around.

"We can fight him. You know who he is, right? We can fight him. I'm Ladybug, and you're Chat Noir. It will always be me and you against the world, right?"

The moonlight coming through the window allowed her to see his green eyes and the way his jawline was set. She expected her words to change him, to give him any hope. She expected him to smile at her and then take her to Hawkmoth's lair, where they'd finally defeat him.

Instead, his eyes just got sadder. 

"We were irresponsible, 'bug. This isn't wonderland. He has something I love, and now I'm paying the price."

He removed her hand from his shoulder, the gentleness of his touch contrasting with his harsh words.

"Chat–"

He raised one of his legs, leaving through the window. When he was completely out, he looked back at her.

"Don't follow me. If you come after me, Hawkmoth will know who you are. And I'll have to fight you."

He was nothing but a blur. Marinette noticed he only looked like that because of the tears she was holding, trying not to blink, knowing she wouldn't be able to stop if she let them go. 

"You wouldn't."

But Chat simply walked backward. He then grabbed his baton, giving Marinette one last look, getting ready to leave her.

"I'm serious, Mari. Don't force me to do that."

Marinette shook her head, touching the window frame, but didn't dare to approach him. He wouldn't joke about that. He knew how much it hurt her.

"Please," she said, her voice shaky and weak, just like her legs. Tears started flowing down.

She didn't care anymore.

"Please tell me this is a joke. A really sick joke, not funny at all, but a joke."

"It isn't."

"Chat. Please. Hawkmoth can't have changed you like that."

Chat didn't answer. He looked at the city behind him, the view from her balcony so familiar after so many hours spent there.

It was a shame that that was the last opportunity he'd have to see it. He gave her a sad smile. 

"You have no idea, do you?"

Marinette wanted to scream his name again. She knew it had been a warning, the most he could do without letting Hawkmoth know that she was Ladybug, and that somehow he was on Hawkmoth's side now.

But when she reached for him one last time, he was already gone.  


**Author's Note:**

> i always say that but thank u lara and tiff for everything ilysm. please give kudos and comment if you liked this! <3


End file.
